


A Little Selfishness

by vengefulghoul



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Far Harbor, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7413031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vengefulghoul/pseuds/vengefulghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short FaraDiMA fics. Some take place before the events of the DLC and some afterward. Some chapters may include spoilers, which I will try to add warnings for at the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Little Selfishness

"DiMA, I'm worried about you." Faraday sighed.

"What is it this time?" DiMA sounded less genuinely annoyed and more amused; flattered by his dear assistant's concern.

"You're getting so close to your personal limit, there isn't much more that I can do for you without risking a terrible amount of strain on your body. I know how much you want to help everyone, but I'm not willing to let you-"

"Faraday..." DiMA's calm voice interrupted. 

"I'm not willing to let you hurt yourself." He repeated, more assertively. "Acadia... all of this," Faraday gestured vaguely. "Is yours. It's your job to keep this place running and it's my job to keep, well, you running."

"I know, Faraday, and I'm sorry. You work so hard just to humor me and my pursuits... I forget how it must make you feel sometimes." 

His sincere, sympathetic tone was a relief. 

"I won't ask you to do anything you feel could be unsafe unless it's an emergency. I promise." DiMA hovered his hand over where his heart would be as he spoke.

Faraday looked at DiMA skeptically for a moment, then relented with another weary sigh. "Sometimes I wish I saw what you see to be so calm."

"If you did, poor Chase would have to deal with two synths with their heads in the clouds." DiMA laughed quietly and stood up from his chair, placing his hands on Faraday's shoulders.

"Thank you for all you've done. I truly don't know where I would be without you." DiMA's pale, glossy eyes gazed down at his devoted caretaker with softness and warmth.

"And, to be clear, Acadia... isn't just mine. It's ours. We built this place together.”

Faraday's expression took a turn to something more thoughtful; nostalgic, as if he was thinking back very far to a very different time. "It was your idea." He said, simply, but still leaning into his thoughts.

“Without your knowledge and your assistance, my dream would never have become a reality." DiMA gently reminded him. 

“I-I think you might be giving me a little too much credit.” He stuttered, sure to turn away before the blush that warmed his cheeks became too noticeable.

DiMA’s optic sensors had been damaged long ago, which caused him to rely mostly on a backup system. It allowed him to see aided by changes in heat patterns. His true vision was faint and blurry. 

DiMA’s expression fell at the way Faraday shrugged him off. 

“Faraday,” DiMA’s soft voice cut him like a knife. “Have I made you uncomfortable?”

“No.” His grip tightened on the handle of his toolbox anxiously. “Absolutely not, DiMA. You’re my closest friend.”

“I have noticed lately that you seem…” DiMA searched for the correct emotion to describe Faraday’s unusual rise and fall in temperature whenever he came close to him. “...Troubled.” 

“It’s just stress. Thinking about the situation in Far Harbor, the Children of Atom, and things here with you has been a bit much. I’m fine, really. Maybe I just need to lie down for a little while… It is late, after all.” Faraday frantically tried to steer the conversation away from his feelings.

DiMA looked up at the night sky through the missing panels of the observatory dome. “So it is.” He looked back to Faraday with concern. “Please, get some rest my friend. We will find a way to resolve this terrible conflict soon enough, I assure you.”

“I know we will.” Faraday confirmed, softly but with confidence. He met eyes with DiMA again, sharing a moment of reflection with his oldest and dearest friend before turning to leave. “Good night, DiMA.”

With a heavy sigh, he sat down on his bed tucked between the wall and a stack of monitors. The electric hum of the computers was usually comforting, much like an extension of DiMA’s presence, but now it only emphasized the achy feeling in his chest.

Sometimes it felt like hardly any time had past since he escaped the Institute, like his life so far had been a whirlwind. Others, it felt like his time with DiMA had been an eternity, and everything before that wasn’t worth remembering. He wandered the Commonwealth for years, reluctant to seek out the rumors of the budding Railroad like the others. Even if he had made it to one of their safehouses, what would become of him? Everything he had learned in the Institute, all his technical skill would go to waste. He’d be a farmer, or a trader at best. 

He roamed from town to town and offered his services for caps, building up enough money to continue traveling north, putting as much distance between him and the Institute as possible. The fear of coursers on his trail pressured him forward until he reached the coast. By chance, he met a sea captain at a trader’s settlement whom he offered all of his remaining caps to take him wherever he was going, as long as it was far, far away...

 

Faraday awoke the next morning much later than he wanted to. He cursed himself under his breath as he quickly slipped on his lab coat and got out of bed. He couldn't afford to fall any further behind on his work. Not with tensions rising on the island and the fog’s oppressive advancement. He strode quickly onto the main floor of the observatory mentally preparing his lengthy apology to DiMA, but he was shocked to find that he wasn’t there.

Faraday struggled and failed to suppress his inclination to assume the worst.. He wasn't in his chair, he wasn't on the main floor, or in the basement. 

Cog noticed Faraday's pitiful, frantic state and casually tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Your boyfriend’s outside on the roof.”

“Outside? Why?” Faraday was so relieved to hear that DiMA wasn't missing that Cog’s jab went unnoticed. 

“Dunno. Ask him yourself?” He shrugged.

Faraday pushed open the heavy metal door of the observatory and stepped outside into the bright late-morning sun. The way he blinked against the sunlight served as a reminder of how much time he spent working diligently in the dark. Surely enough, DiMA stood on the balcony that served as a surveillance point, looking wistfully into the horizon. 

“DiMA! There you are…” Faraday sighed deeply in relief. “I was so worried something happened to you.”

“Oh, Faraday, you've awakened.” DiMA smiled pleasantly at the sight of him. “Not to worry, I am quite alright. I only came out here for some fresh air and to take in such a beautiful day.” He descended the steps at a casual pace.  
“You looked so peaceful in your sleep, my friend, that I didn't have the heart to wake you. I thought I might step out and do some thinking instead.”

“As opposed to…?” 

“Thinking inside.” He laughed. DiMA appeared to be in a very good mood.

Seeing DiMA this way immediately caused Faraday's worries to burn off like the morning fog. Perhaps his duties could wait just a little longer.

“Well, would you like company?”

“I would. Thank you.” DiMA affirmed. “As a matter of fact, I was thinking about asking you if you would like to take a walk.”

Faraday thought to himself for a moment. “Where would we go?”

“I have lived on this island for over a century, Faraday, you should know by now that if there is anywhere you would like to go, I will take you there.”

“You mean outside of Acadia? You can't be serious. It's far too dangerous to go out there now. The island isn't the same as it was when we met, DiMA...”

“True. But, the fact remains that it is indeed a beautiful day. The fog has nearly lifted already. The creatures will retreat further inland, and the wolves will not bother us.”

“You seem to have your heart set on this, don't you… And I can’t very well let you go out there by yourself, now can I?”

DiMA smiled and Faraday sighed. 

“I guess I’ll let Chase know we’re leaving, then.”

DiMA hesitated uncomfortably. “That’s not necessary. If Chase learns of this, she’ll certainly follow us.”

Faraday looked at DiMA, confused. “Something wrong?”

“While I value Chase’s... vigilance in keeping Acadia secured, I was hoping that we could have this time together. Privately.”

“O-Oh…” Faraday stuttered. “Well, alright. If that’s what you want.” He cleared his throat and adjusted his collar. “But I will have to insist you bring your weapon. Trappers have been more of a nuisance lately, as you know.”

DiMA thought for a moment, then agreed.

The two synths took what they needed from the observatory and met again at Acadia’s front gate. 

They traveled on the road for some time until DiMA cut across into the forest, to Faraday’s dismay.

“Where are you going?”

“The road leads into Far Harbor. I’m not sure it would be prudent to make a surprise visit.” He replied calmly. “We can continue this way.”  
Faraday’s discomfort at the prospect of cutting into the woods was short lived, however, as he was interrupted by a memory. “This is the way I would come from Far Harbor to see you.”

“Yes, I remember. You were quite persistent.” DiMA smiled. 

Faraday smirked. “And you were always so careful not to let me track you back to the submarine base at first.”

“In my defense, what was I supposed to think of an excited man asking to take me apart at every opportunity?”

“I realize how it must have looked to you, but I was just so happy to see a familiar face. Er, uh… So to speak…” Faraday face brightened. “To see such an advanced model out here... and mostly I was concerned that you were in trouble. It’s amazing you were still in the shape I found you in.” He laughed.

“It seems we had similar feelings, even then. After a while, I was more afraid of you getting hurt wandering around out here by yourself to wonder about your intentions.” 

“Well, by then I was out of money. I couldn’t afford to stay at the inn anymore…” Faraday shrugged. “But getting a few scrapes and bruises in the woods and seeing you was worth more than moping around in town, wondering what to do with myself. It was kind of you and Confessor Martin and to let me live with you at the base.”

“I knew I wouldn’t be getting rid of you any time soon.” DiMA joked. “Sometimes I look back on those days more fondly than others. It was a simpler, more hopeful time.”

“For both of us, I think…” Faraday nodded slowly. “It was so invigorating to finally have a job to do again, but once we began with your modifications and the work with Acadia, everything just seemed to move so fast.” He brushed his hand against his face nervously. “Maybe it’s selfish of me, but sometimes I wish we could have waited a little longer; had more time to ourselves.”

DiMA laughed softly and reached out to Faraday, who was beginning to lag behind. “I think I can forgive a little selfishness.”

Soon they ventured out into an overgrown clearing; one of DiMA’s favored thinking places from long ago. The way the sun streamed through the trees and illuminated DiMA’s pale skin in warmth made him seem... otherworldly. The sight of him now brought back a nostalgic wave of emotion to Faraday. Somehow, DiMA had always seemed to fit perfectly within the natural landscape as if he was just another creature quietly living in it’s own rightful place.

“It was here, wasn’t it…” He asked, softly, not wishing to disturb the tranquility of the place.

“Yes, I think so.” DiMA looked up into the sky as he had been earlier in Acadia. 

“Is this… why you wanted me to come with you? To take me here?” Faraday questioned gently, confused. “I don’t understand…”

“Dear Faraday…” DiMA’s voice sounded strange. “Even though we are in troubled times, I seem to have found myself becoming distracted by more personal thoughts.”

“Personal thoughts?” Faraday echoed.

“Thinking about you… and I; the day we met, and everything after that.” DiMA stated very plainly. “Just as we have been now.”

“D-DiMA, why are you thinking about... me? And when there’s so much to be done… We shouldn’t even be here now. Every moment we waste could spell disaster for everyone on the island.” Faraday’s anxious mind raced once again, as if the spell DiMA’s soothing presence had on him had been lifted quite suddenly.

“Forgive me, Faraday… I have been selfish as well.”

Faraday’s eyes locked onto DiMA fearfully. His friend’s change in tone scared him and he had no idea what to do.

“Perhaps it is time our relationship… changed.”

A knot formed instantly in his stomach and his heart beat wildly in anticipation of something terrible. "...Changed? How...?" He wrung his hands anxiously and cast his eyes downward. "DiMA, if I've done something wrong, please, please, tell me so I can fix it. I don't want-" 

He was silenced by the feeling of DiMA's cool hand on his cheek. Faraday's startled grey eyes darted to the hand then back to DiMA.

"Don't worry, dearest Faraday. Our relationship is not suffering, and I do not wish for us to spend any time apart. Quite the opposite, in fact." DiMA smiled warmly. He took Faraday gently by the shoulders and guided him to his chest into a loose embrace.

"Are you...?" Faraday's jaw seemed to hang slack a little. "You're asking me if...?" DiMA could feel the man's heart pounding in his chest against his own.

"I would like to know if you feel that there is potential for a more intimate relationship between us." DiMA filled in the blank. "Because I do."

Faraday's arms slowly and reluctantly slipped around DiMA's back, carefully minding his protruding augmentations, as if he was testing how it felt to hold him. Then, very quietly, in a weak voice, he replied. "...Why?"

"You mean more to me than anyone. I wanted you to know that. I wanted to show that to you, but I couldn't think of anything that could express my desires accurately. We have been together for so long, we have experienced so much together… that I struggled to find anything else I could share with you." DiMA's hand made its way to the back of Faraday's head and he experimentally ran his crude metal fingers through his hair. He assumed it might be comforting. "I thought very deeply about it, and finally I realized how foolish I had been to have considered every other option than the one that made any sense."

DiMA gently pulled back from Faraday so that he could look him in the eyes. "I was... in love."

Faraday's eyes were affixed on DiMA's. All color drained from his face as he played DiMA’s words over and over in his head to make sure he heard correctly.

"I trust you completely.” DiMA continued, unsure about Faraday’s reaction. “If this isn't what you want for us; if I have… misjudged the mutuality of my feelings, please tell me. I will be alright." 

Faraday heaved out a long, unconsciously held breath and he let his head rest against DiMA's collarbone, closing the gap between them once again.  
"DiMA..." He nuzzled his face against the synth's chest, overwhelmed, then looked back up to him. “I've been wanting to tell you for so long! This is... I-I mean, uh, oh what am I saying? I love you, too. I always have. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, DiMA...”

DiMA looked down at him, smiling with gentle eyes. Maybe he knew that all along. "I'm so glad you do." 

“What… does this mean for us now?” Faraday asked. “Where do we go from here?”

DiMA chuckled. “Honestly, I really don’t know. We’ll have to find that out together. I’m afraid I have gone into this rather unprepared.”

Faraday shifted a little and bit his lip. “DiMA…” His eyes swept to the side. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” He agreed without hesitation. “Although, I will admit I’m not really sure what to do. You’ll have to help me.”

Faraday exhaled. “You’ll need to lean down… just a little.” 

DiMA moved forward so that his face was closer to Faraday’s. “Is this better?”

He nodded and swallowed nervously. After working up his courage, he placed his hands on the sides of DiMA’s face and drew closer. This was a moment he had fantasized about many times, but now that it was happening he felt nothing could have ever equipped him for it. His eyes fell shut as he finally made contact with DiMA’s lips. Faraday felt DiMA’s arms closing around him and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. 

DiMA tried very hard not to over-analyze the experience. He wanted it to be as natural and emotional as possible, and with each passing second, he translated his observations into feeling. Faraday’s lips were thin, but soft; warm. All of him was warm. The pressure of his lips gently grasping to his own was a pleasant sensation. With it, he felt everything that he had once struggled to express. Closeness, affection, intimacy, security… DiMA only hoped that Faraday felt as favorably.

DiMA smoothed his hand over the back of Faraday’s head as they each lazily pulled away. Neither of them really wanted it to end.

When DiMA and Faraday passed the wind turbines and made their way back into Acadia, Faraday paused and reluctantly let go of his new lover’s hand. “While I’m out here I might as well take a look at the generators. You go on ahead.”

“Be careful.” 

“I always am.” Faraday couldn’t hold back a smile. Since when was DiMA the one worrying about him? His mind buzzed with new thoughts and feelings that had been unleashed since their talk, but as always his work was a priority.

DiMA continued through the front gate to see Chase rounding a corner.

“DiMA, where have you been? You can’t just go missing for an entire afternoon and not tell anyone. Not like this.” Her tone was aggressive, but mostly just concerned. “Faraday is missing too. Was he involved in this?”

“Everything is fine, Chase. Faraday was me the whole time. It was my idea to leave.” DiMA tried to diffuse her. “I wanted to have a private conversation somewhere we wouldn’t be disturbed. That’s all.”

Chase’s stern expression remained. “And you don’t intend to fill me in on any of it?”

DiMA smiled slightly. “I would, but I’m quite certain you wouldn’t find any of it very interesting.”


	2. An Accident

DiMA let out a sudden yelp of pain and jerked away instinctively from Faraday's hand, grimacing hard. Faraday had accidentally re-activated the sensors in parts of DiMA that had been altered from the original design or damaged for many years, causing them to immediately flare up at once in a powerful needle-like sensation. 

"DiMA!! Oh no, oh no, no no! Please, try to hold still! I can fix this!" Faraday's hands desperately tried to reach the connection in DiMA's back to sever it, but it was deep and DiMA flinched and bit back cries of pain whenever he touched him. Even gentle contact felt as though his skin was being clawed off. Finally, he managed to pull the wire away and very quickly crimped the insulation over the copper and scrambled to his feet to face DiMA. His heart raced a mile a minute as words began to tumble out of his mouth in a tempest. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I knew that wire was there, I disconnected it myself the first time, but I didn't take care to secure it. I'm so stupid and careless and I hurt you... I hurt you! I can't believe it, I-I I didn't mean to." 

DiMA wasn't even looking at him. He continued to stare off somewhat blankly with wide eyes as if he was afraid to move, but his hands trembled anyway. He could still feel the after-image of needles. Needles and burning. 

"It's... it's alright, Faraday..." His words came out especially slow and laborious.

"No! It's not... It's not." Faraday's fearfulness quickly turned to a crushing feeling of sadness as he noticed DiMA's involuntary shaking, still overwhelmed by the sensory overload. "Oh god..." He wanted so badly to reach out to DiMA and hold him close to comfort him, but he restrained the thought and only closed his hand around two of DiMA's metal fingers. DiMA didn't flinch away this time and slowly turned to look at his caretaker. Faraday looked utterly heartbroken. Every frantic thought in his anxious head was written plainly across his face.

"It was only an accident. You didn't mean to cause me any pain..."

"But I did anyway..." His face contorted in disgust at himself and then fell back into sadness. "It sounded so horrible."  
Faraday hugged his arms around himself as one would if they felt sick to the stomach and exhaled with a shaky breath. "I'm sorry... I... I don't think I can finish working on you today." 

"I understand." DiMA's body was able to relax into a more natural sitting position now and the trembling ceased. "I think we could both benefit from a rest."

Faraday sat and stared at the blinking cursor of his terminal for a long while, arms still wrapped around himself. Occasionally he would look up at DiMA through the window, but his guilt drew his eyes away. Why did DiMA have to be so forgiving? So quick to defuse him when he should have been angry? All he wanted was to help... To make DiMA's life a little easier, to feel wanted, to feel needed. Every word of thanks, of recognition, made him feel so... so high. There was such validation in it. If he wasn't doing something to help, then what good was he? A wretched, horrible waste of space who brought suffering to the only source of goodness in his life since leaving the Institute. 

The text across the black screen stared back at him.

I keep hurting people. Why can't I forgive myself as easily as DiMA forgives me?

He sighed a tired sigh and looked down at his hands. He tried so hard to be careful, but it wasn’t enough. There would always be someone better, more qualified, but he wanted to be the one that could be there for DiMA. He wanted to be good enough. He’d have to try harder… Be better…

The sound of metal clacking against concrete signaled DiMA’s approach. 

“DiMA... H-how are you feeling?” Faraday’s tone was apologetic, timid. 

"I am feeling much better. Thank you." DiMA smiled serenely. "But, I would like to ask you the same. How are you feeling, Faraday?"

"I'm... fine." The sadness in his eyes betrayed him. 

"Ah." DiMA's hand moved to rest gently on Faraday's back and Faraday quickly returned to the index screen of his terminal. “Working on something new?”

“Um, no… Well, not really. I did have some plans for a way to increase the efficiency of the wind farm, but…”

“I would be happy to hear your ideas.” DiMA offered. 

“Maybe… maybe another time.” Faraday exhaled and turned his eyes away. 

The atmosphere between them was thick and awkward. DiMA didn't like it at all. 

“You look like there’s something you want to talk about, even if it isn’t about upgrades.”

Faraday rubbed his arms nervously and then met eyes with the old synth again. There was nothing he could hide from DiMA. Sometimes he hated that about him.

"You know my worst fear is losing you…” Faraday mumbled quietly. “Or, something happening to you that I can’t prevent.”

DiMA frowned and placed his hands at Faraday’s shoulders, causing him to release his anxious grip on himself. DiMA’s hands then moved down to take hold of his. "I hope you know that I would do anything to protect you as well. Even if sometimes I may need to protect you from your own worries. I assure you, a few seconds of discomfort is more than an acceptable price for such a skilled and dedicated assistant as you are."

Faraday stared at DiMA’s chest, still despondent. “You wouldn’t prefer someone more apt?”

DiMA chuckled. “And who might that be? No one knows me like you do.”

Faraday’s breath hitched slightly and a small smile appeared on his lips for only a split second before correcting it. “I… um, I suppose you’re right.”

“With all of the time you have put into helping me reach my… potential, you are practically a part of me now. How could I ever replace you?”

He was simply flattering him now. Faraday’s smile couldn’t be held back any further and he laughed under his breath. “DiMA… Please…” 

DiMA smiled back confidently. “What happened today was a small accident. Hardly worth noting. We will continue our work tomorrow, and everything will be just fine.” His voice was warm and reassuring.

Faraday paused, as if he was thinking about it for a moment then nodded slowly. “Yes… I think you’re right. We can’t let this hold us back, can we.”

“Of course not.” DiMA’s hand moved to Faraday’s back once again and he turned toward the door, prompting him to follow. “Now, if you don’t mind, I would love to hear your ideas about the wind farm as long as you are willing to share them with me. I’m sure it will be very enlightening.”

“Ah! Of course.” Faraday perked up and caught up with DiMA, now nearly out of the room. “I’ve been working on some bypasses that will let me tweak the experimental threshold of the turbines, and if my calculations are right, it should boost energy yield by nearly eight percent! It might not sound like much, but,”

DiMA smiled and nodded as Faraday rambled on, just happy to hear his excited voice again. Seeing Faraday happy and confident again was calming as any reassurance anyone would give him in return.


End file.
